I don’t know of many feelings more frustrating, painful and agonizing than to be told: “We don’t want to do business with you any more. Go away.” Probably, the fear/pain of rejection is why many people who might otherwise be good at sales work choose other careers. In our lives, when we receive the dreaded: “Go away” message, we feel, well, shitty.
Is there a cure for this ailment, and a solution to the problem? In my opinion, the best answer is to think from the start about what we can do for others, rather than to worry about what others can do for us. Within this framework, one where we are expressing generosity and helpfulness rather than seeking favors, business or support, we are turning the tables on rejection. We are sharing, rather than asking.
Of course, sometimes people reject us even when we are sincerely seeking to help, support and give. However, the numbers are certainly lower, and (if our generosity is sincere and we are not trying to force our own religion, moral codes or our personal values on others), then the problem is often in the recipients rather than us.
One fascinating thing that evolves when you frame your actions in generosity rather than selfishness. Scientific evidence abounds that good deeds in general are actually rewarded. Recipients of your good will and generosity, even when you are truly not expecting anything in return, feel a sense of obligation and need to reciprocate. So the Golden Rule applies.
I’ve seen how effective this solution is throughout the years. We don’t need to suffer rejection in pain.