Yesterday, I reported on a personal failing. The question, always, when things go wrong is to assess why and then to decide on the best solution to correct the problem. I could elect to ignore the issue, blame others, or even “blame myself” but these attitudes don’t help that much. Rather, in situations where I am less-than-perfect I simply accept responsibility for my own actions and then plan on remediations or measures to either prevent recurrences or (more constructively) to ensure the story has a happy ending.
In this situation, a simple bit of self-discipline is all that I need to introduce to the picture. Sometimes, the challenges are greater, especially if our actions cause harm to others. Here, I would argue in favour of remediation and working on ways to undo the damage as much as possible.
“Self-responsibility” is a concept I absorbed in 1991, at the height of a major earlier recession, just three years after I established my business and a year after my mother contributed $30,000 in seed money to the embryonic company. That money disappeared (figuratively) as fast as the alcoholic beverages left the glasses and bottles on Saturday night. Broke then, living in a dumpy place, without a woman in my life and with a seemingly failing business, I absorbed an insight from one of Brian Tracy’s motivational programs. “I am responsible for myself.”
With that insight, I took stock of my situation. I still had my physical health and my business, while failing, hadn’t completely collapsed. Even if it did, I could still work to rebuild my life but I would need discipline, effort and commitment. I set out to make the best of my own situation and not hold anyone but myself accountable for things that went wrong — with a willingness to share the recognition if things worked well.
These have since become the guiding principals of my adult life. In the larger definition of success, I’ve achieved many of my goals and have little reason to complain. But I can still make glaring and stupid mistakes, hopefully learning from them.
